Thank you for your letter, and the two photographs. They were nice pictures. The other person was unknown to me.

It is enjoyable to write to you concerning the things that are above. Nothing gives me more joy than to search out the tremendous riches God has bestowed on us. I wouldn’t exchange them for all the wisdom of the world, for the wisdom of this world is passing away. I will not boast of myself; God shall have all the honor—He who pulled me from the jaws of death and out of the pit of darkness. He turned my mind from folly and ignorance and set my feet upon a rock. Of myself I know nothing, for I am more stupid by worldly standards than most people. What I have, I have received from God—without works and without payment. Of myself, I am evil from the sole of my foot to the top of my head. My best works are swollen with egotism; my love overflows with self-admiration. My “Christianity” only accentuates all the outward splendor that is used to gather all honor into the insatiable barns of self.

This way of life became repulsive to me. I realized that I was saturated with the leaven of wickedness. I said to God, “Surely I cannot be a Christian! My life is an abomination, and I fall short in every area.”

From that moment, Christ became my life. I had come to the understanding that He is the life. From that moment, I saw myself as a wreck. I hate my life in this world, because it is evil, and I will never again try to make something of it.

Blessed is everyone who has made himself a eunuch for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. “He who is able to accept it, let him accept it,” as written in Matt. 19:12. According to the grace of God that is in me, I will tell you a little about this. Let everything lead to godliness.

What is a eunuch? A man who has been “castrated.” Such a man can have no relations with women. What is the woman? She is the world. Who or what is the man? He is the flesh. The flesh is attracted to the world, just as the man is attracted to the woman. But when someone has made himself a eunuch for the sake of the kingdom of heaven, it means that he has rendered himself incapable of any relationship with the world. He has castrated himself, or, in other words, he has severed all connections to the world. The flesh has been made a eunuch, for it remains alone. A person who belongs to Christ has crucified the flesh with its lusts and desires. We can’t grasp God’s wisdom with our mind the same way we learn World History. We must lay hold of it with our heart, because we believe with our heart—not with our head. Christ, the wisdom of God, dwells by faith in our heart, not in our head. Blessed are they who have not defiled themselves with women; they are virgins. First the natural, then the spiritual. The Master says that if we can’t understand the natural things, then how could we understand the spiritual things if He told them to us? That’s why He spoke in parables. Our vocabulary is only useful for natural things. When we explain heavenly things, we have to use the words the Holy Spirit teaches us and express the spiritual meaning in parables.

One can best express oneself by speaking in tongues: that is to say, by speaking in the Spirit without using one’s understanding, but then there must be someone present who can interpret. To speak prophetically is to speak in the Spirit and with one’s understanding. God far surpasses our understanding, so we can reach Him best by not using our understanding. However, for the sake of those who are listening, it is better to speak five words with our understanding than ten thousand words in tongues. We can also pray in tongues, but there, too, our understanding is unfruitful. You can read about this in 1 Cor. 14. Nowadays people meditate far too little on the law of the Lord; that’s why we never hear them talking about speaking in tongues or about prophesying. These gifts still exist, yet most people don’t know anything about them. Some think that this means speaking in German and English, etc., but this is not the case, because we see from verse 5 that those who speak in tongues can also receive the gift to interpret.

There is much to be marveled at in God’s glorious wisdom. We shall see greater things than these, for Christ surpasses all knowledge. The Mediator is not for one only, but God is one. It is the Mediator who dwells in the heart; but since He is not the same for all, neither can we be. Nevertheless, we have the same mind, as far as we have come.

As I have said before, my greatest joy is to write and speak about these things. Dear Aksel, if you want to enter into full rest and confidence and receive power and the strength of wisdom, make yourself a eunuch for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Don’t take those who call themselves Christians as your examples; let Christ Himself be your example. Only when you’ve seen the outcome of a believer’s life in Christ can you follow his faith. I have been sadly disappointed by people who have a name that they are alive, so I have learned not to give them an automatic stamp of approval.

Everyone who does righteousness is born of God. The one who associates with a proud person becomes like him. God’s Spirit is very mobile, penetrating both the poor man’s hovel and the king’s castle. To be spiritual—to be like the Spirit—is to do the same.

The world is just going in one direction: competing to become great, greater, greatest. But in order to attain this goal, they have to despise lower things and aim for the higher, from glory to glory—to all the fullness of Satan. However, that is not the kind of glory or the kind of fullness we are to aim for. There is no pride in God, but the devil is saturated with pride. God is even interested in a compost heap, where He feeds the little insects that would otherwise perish. Such things are disgusting for those who are great in this world; therefore God has also rightly condemned man himself to decay and to become food for worms.

Write soon. Be quick to become an elder, for wisdom is true maturity. Never be the slave of a priest, parish clerk, or any other man, for you have been bought with a price.

As you see, dear Aksel, I speak quite freely and openly. I’ve tried both, but prefer freedom to bondage. If anybody will listen to me, well and good. And if not, that’s also well and good, because it is no longer I who live, and that is my testimony. Would you testify of the same?—Can you testify of the same?

I’ve written a letter to Captain Kielland, declaring to him what I have seen and heard. May God give him light, because the Spirit of God has been working much in him. He has been irritated by me and has given me a hard time, but he needs to hear it again. From now on we know no man according to the flesh. He gives much to the poor, because he is a rich man.

Greet everyone at home, and all the best to you from your brother,