Thinking Independently

A home where there is mutual love between the parents and good exhortations that help the children think indepen­dently gives them a good foundation for the rest of their lives. It is beneficial for children to learn to weigh exhortations and determine for themselves what could be destructive and what is beneficial for their life. Children who grow up this way will certainly feel privileged to have experienced the life-giving power that is in the Word. They will be enthusiastic about God’s Word, even if they choose something else for their own life. Usually people who have a negative attitude toward Christianity have experienced it more as a religious form rather than tasting and drinking of the fountain that Jesus speaks about: “But whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into ever­lasting life.” John 4:14. Who could, in the depths of their heart, be against fountains of living water where the life of Christ flows out from mortal bodies?!

Parents are not all alike and, of course, the same applies to children. So we can’t bring them up according to some tem­plate or formula. You won’t find two identical leaves on an entire tree, and you won’t find two children who are exactly the same. This causes parents who love their children to feel poor in spirit. It is good to have knowledge about basic child development, but it is equally important to understand that what works with one child will not necessarily work with an­other. We must be attentive and hear the promptings of the Holy Spirit in our hearts, because God alone knows the se­crets of man. “In the day when God will judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ, according to my gospel.” Rom. 2:16. The letter alone can never make me understand what goes on in­side a child’s mind. We need the Holy Spirit as a Helper to understand the real needs of our children. As a teacher of the law, Paul was very familiar with the entire legal system, but he lived in the acknowledgement that he needed guidance and help from the Spirit. “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” 2 Cor. 3:5-6.

The love of God enables you to get contact with your chil­dren so they feel like they receive understanding and help. The law can certainly help you to select the appropriate pun­ishment for various misdemeanors, but it can’t teach you why the child spoke or acted the way he or she did. For that, the Spirit must instruct us, and we need a listening ear.