“But let none of you suffer as . . . a busybody . . . .”

“But let none of you suffer as . . . a busybody . . . .” 1 Pet. 4:15. It is a well-known fact that there are many unnecessary sufferings in marriage (in addition to the normal sufferings), and the main reason is revealed in the above text.

God is a God of order. In this world every one is given specific responsibilities to take care of and has specific tasks to fulfill in life. No one is responsible for everything under the sun. However, the abundant sin that dwells in us makes it very easy for us to get involved in other people’s business. This causes much unnecessary trouble instead of harmony and rest.

Mind your own business, and concerning everything else, be quiet, very quiet, and everything will go much, much better. For example, if the bus you are traveling on stops because of a breakdown, why do you crane your neck and look so worried? What do you hope to accomplish by that? Why do you chatter so much? Your lack of rest in God is manifesting itself. As Isaiah says, you are like the restless waves of the sea, which toss up mire and dirt. What is this mire and dirt? Vanity, thoughtlessness, curiosity, anxiety, impatience, criticism and judging, anger, dissatisfaction, talkativeness, etc.

God guides everything. The driver has been placed there to do whatever has to be done in these circumstances. You don’t have to say or do anything. Only be quiet! Rest in God! That is an unspeakably wonderful place in which to abide! You have full permission and every right to abide in rest. You are “off duty”! And, as they say in the Navy, “When you’re off duty, you can relax.” Be glad for the opportunity.

Tragically, most “Christians” pierce themselves through with many unnecessary sorrows and torments simply because they meddle in other people’s affairs. It is as if they were trying to have as much sorrow as possible and seek out every possible opportunity to that end.

If you are a married man, then take care of your own task. Be strong and stable so that the weaker vessel, your wife, can truly rely on you in the day of trial. She must be able to have confidence in you and honor and respect you, to follow your example and submit to you—which is what she really wants to do. You must also be infinitely longsuffering and understanding so that you are always strong and good, bearing and enduring things in such a way that your wife knows she can count on you. But if you conduct yourself in a weak, subservient way, you are performing her task, in which case you are not doing her a favor. Confusion and disorder are not good. It would be better if you took over her task entirely, if you could, but part of her task is the bearing of children, and you are not capable of that!

No, my dear brother, do not meddle in other people’s matters. Be a man! This is your calling. If you are a wife, then take care of your own task. Be quiet and meek (the perfect contrast to a gossiping woman or the proverbial “continual dripping,” as the wise man puts it). Be modest, chaste and good, devoted and in subjection. Bear children. This is your calling. Love your husband and your children. This is God’s intention. Sing to them. This is your calling. Be meek and tender in heart and mind, in word and in deed. This becomes you so well. It adorns you so well. Don’t you realize this? It has such a good effect. Long live God’s order!!!